Crack Popcorn: The Good Ol' Days

From back during the summer of 2007, with my good friend Kayde. Written in the heyday of a crazy summer, this letter was sent to about 15 of our friends, simply as a way of saying, "Hi, let's all hang out this weekend." Everyone thought we must have been lacing the popcorn we were eating with crack. Couldn't have been farther from the truth; just an afternoon spent making plans. Yet more proof that my life has been special for years now.

Enjoy...




First off, everyone's back; Yay!

Glad you all came back from Egypt, or Mexico, or Colorado with the Gay Convention, or Idaho with Jamba Juice, or wherever the hell else you went.

Ok, we're working around Lexie's work schedule [4-9], so time's a little tight. Don't worry, Kayde and I have it all worked out.

We're leaving for Idaho at 7 in the morning. Meet at Fremont Street, just in case anyone wants to pick up any crack whores for fun along the way. The van will have extra room a la back of the bus. Speaking of which, if you would like to become an accomplice in the theft of the van, show up half an hour early. If you want an energy drink, bring one. We will not be supplying them.

We will then drive to Pocatello, Idaho. First stop, Jamba Juice on Yellowstone. This will be our only bathroom break in Idaho. We have to be back in Vegas by 3:30, so that Lexie can get to work. Head's up, Kayde will be driving. We need more drivers, so if you're interested, please RSVP.

After returning to Vegas, we will briefly nap while Lexie works. Feel free to not nap. May I reccomend eating? The choice is yours. We will leave for Durango at 9 pm, on the dot. Meet up at Mountain Crest park. This location is entirely random and subject to change.

While in Durango, we are going to hook up with as many hot men and women [Rumors tell of an abundance of hot willing individuals] as physically possible. It is preferred that you we play gender appropriate roles, but what happens, happens. WARNING: GUESS WHO'S IN MY MOUTH IS A VERY POPULAR GAME WITH THE NATIVES. You have been forewarned. For all those interested in playing, they are experts. It's a great place to learn, and makes for great stories. Oh, we will also be jumping off of Baker's. It's an 80 foot bridge. Do not be afraid, they do it all the time.

Since we will be returning to Vegas at or around 10:30, still working around Lexie's busy schedule, we will be on a tight schedule in Durango. A buddy system is reccomended, but entirely voluntary. Crack whores and hookers do count as buddies. We are not viable for diseases contracted, including Ghonoherpasiphilitis. It's a killer, watch out.

Some time to chill, reflect, and relax upon return to Vegas. Eric, is your house open? Brian or Jenna, yours? Doesn't matter where. We can even do Kayde's, and get pizza midnight. Late night mailbox blow up anyone [Kidding Debbie]. It won't be too late of a night, as Lexie has a doctor's appt. all the way out in Henderson the next morning.

Alternate Transportation Plans:
Starting at 2 am, Kayde and I will be building a time machine. Participants are welcome to contribute in whatever manner they may. We are currently looking for someone versed in the way of the time-space continum, as Zach only specializes in parallel universes. Kayde specializes only in the planet of Durango, so we'll need some back up. Like we said, anyone's welcome.

Upon completion, the time machine will be well hidden, but we have included a description to help you out. The time machine will be purple, with lime greem polka dots, and leopard and zebra striped doors that are of course magenta. Duh. Beacause this manner of coloration is camoflauge, so no one will see us. We don't want unwanted visitors or creepy crack whores coming along.

Oh by the way, we need alcohol. Just not Malibu.

Thanks to everyone, hope to see you there :]

-Kayde and Zach